End of an Era... or Just the Beginning

Well, after 5 years of home schooling my kids, they will be going to a public charter school next year. I am way excited about the school, but so so so sad that I have to give up home schooling. I had intended to teach them at home until they were grown. How different life can be from our own plans sometimes. Of all the many losses I've had to come to terms with resulting from my husband leaving, this is one of the hardest and most unfair. Everything about the way we planned on raising our children has changed drastically in a very short time period. I struggle not to be angry about it. I have to trust that God gave me that era in their early years to prepare them for this era. This new time when they will be pushed into a little more independence, a little broader horizons, and a lot of capable hands instead of just my one pair. Tonight was the end of the year feast for my homeschooling group. It was so much fun. All the kids took turns sharing something they had learned over the past year. Some of the presentations were tear jerkers. Kenzie and Avery both sang such beautiful songs, I cried! Thomas recited the entire chapter of 1 Corinthians 13, and I cried. Ethan, Rachel, Abby and Joel recited Psalm 19 in unison and, you guessed it, I cried. Trenton read a beautiful poem (I would even go so far as to call it a psalm) that he had just written to the Lord. I cried. Nathan read a poem about trusting God through trials. Sniff sniff sniff. When Ardara stood and shared with everyone how God comforted her with his word one night when she couldn't sleep after she had been fighting with me, I definitely cried. When Jed and Tobi and Jubilee recited Ephesians 6 about the whole armor of God with Tobi pantomiming the usage of each piece of armor, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. But when Thomas and Skip did a little cowboy lip synch (with a cardboard banjo!) and Natalie did her "year in a nutshell" Dorf style - they had us all in stitches! Such adorable cuties!!! And Micah and Isaac and Annie reciting their marching poem was so much fun! I love how into it Isaac gets. He is a true literary mind. And he also said the Sanctus in Latin - with translation! SMAAAAAART! But my very favorite moment of the night was when I was quizzing the kids about the things they'd learned about Israel, and I asked "Who can tell me a REALLY IMPORTANT person who was born in Israel?" Skip didn't miss a beat with his answer "ARDARA!" That's right. Who could be more important than my own baby girl? I'm so glad Skip thinks so too. This is why I know my kids are going to amaze me next year with all the things they will learn. I can't even believe the providence of one of my very best friends on earth, Ashley, being the new teacher for Huyler and Ardara's grade! And I look forward to becoming part of that community. It seems like a fun, close-knit one. So, I am accepting that things don't have to go the way I had planned or expected in order for them to go RIGHT. Because this whole turn of events isn't a surprise to my sovereign God at all. He knew this was coming all along, and he arranged things so my kids could all get just what they needed at just the right time. Amen, Lord. Behold your handmaiden. Let it be unto me according to all that you have planned.